To be attached to the pump so many times in a day...
To stick to a strict pumping schedule to maintain supply...
To wake up in the wee hours of the night everyday to pump...
It takes a lot from the mother to continue giving her child breast milk when the child is unable to direct feed.
I never thought I would eventually be that mom. But I am now.
I'm an exclusive pumping mom.
This photo above was when I was on my way to an event and forgot to bring the bottles. Hence, I improvised (I should remember to thank the mamak).
Anyway, it all began a week ago when Razeen was cruising at a table, lost his balance, fell and knocked his lip at the edge.
He didn't cry hard, nor did I see any blood. So I thought it was just another fall. But I did notice he was a bit more cranky than usual and didn't eat as much. He was breast feeding as usual though.
Later that night I noticed his lip was slightly swollen. So I thought, "Ah..that must've been from that fall."
The next morning, my mom asked me to check inside his lip, just in case.
Poor Razeen...it must've been painful. No wonder he was cranky. But he had no problem breast feeding so I thought I'll just let it heal on its own.
Two days later, he was at the peak of his crankiness. He woke up at night for his usual dose of milk but was crying hysterically when he attempted to latch on. He finally settled down after he had milk from the bottle.
It did cross my mind, would Razeen be traumatised and reject the boob all together?
The next day, after I came back from work at night, I attempted to direct feed him and to my relief he managed to do so without any problem. Little did I know, that was the last time I would direct feed Razeen :(
He's totally turned off at the idea of direct feeding now. Whenever I attempt, he would cry and struggle to get off me. Until today, about a week since the last direct feed, I am still offering him "fresh milk" straight from the source.
I have yet to succeed :(
Although when he wants milk, he still points at the boobs and at times he pulls down my collar to look inside and continue pointing. Haha.. Not TMI I hope :D Anyway that's his way of saying,"I want that...4.5oz ok? In a bottle, thanks."
I know it's only been a few days but I miss having Razeen latched on. Holding the bottle is just...different.
And I'm pressured trying to produce more milk. Now with the fasting month, supply has gone down a bit.
I don't take take any supplements, as many have asked. I find consuming oats (in a form of chocolate granola bars because they taste so good) and soya bean help boost my milk supply.
Also nowadays whenever I can I would do power pumping.
If you're not familiar with the term 'power pumping' it's basically this: pump for 10 mins, rest 10 mins and pump for another 10 mins.
So far so good. But it is indeed very tiring.
Just as I reached the 1 year mark in my journey to breastfeed Razeen, I am now forced to take a new path. The destination remains the same.
I hope I'll be able to cope for the next one year. Where there's a will there's a way. In Shaa Allah.
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